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Dealing With Family Expectations

When both parents work outside the home, the details of taking care of the family and household are usually taken care of equally. The healthiest relationship consists of two partners who agree to split up duties; each taking in consideration what the other does for a living while away at work.

However, most families do not have such agreements in force, but rather they push and pull on each other to get things done when it apparent they have been neglected.

Alternatively, mothers may take on the role of housekeeper and caretaker without question, drawing on the traditional "wife and mother" roles passed on from grandmothers. In some modern families, dad may play the traditional nurturing role.

However, what happens when the caretaker works from home? Many spouses of work at home parents may not realize the energy that is involved in essentially working two jobs at the same time. While one may be working while at home during the day, the other is not there to see the benefits that come out of the work that was done.

Unfortunately, many spouses have a hard time realizing that their work at home counterparts accomplish more during the day than most in the corporate world do. Therefore, their expectations of what should be done at home, in the evening and on weekends, may not change. Even worse, the expectations could grow.

Here are some ways to help your spouse recognize the work you do, and allow your role of work at home mom morph from the traditional role of wife and mother to something that matches the new dynamics in your family's household.

Display your professionalism - Get up early, shower, and be dressed for work when your spouse leaves for work. Develop a working schedule and adhere to it to show that you are serious about what you do.

Create a separate office space, make business cards, and otherwise treat yourself as a self-employed individual.

Involve your spouse in your work - Whenever possible, share with your spouse how your day went, any new projects you are involved in, and even offer to let them help now and then.

This will help your spouse understand the concept that you actually provide a service or product to others, and make a living doing so.

Share the wealth and rewards - Nothing shows a spouse how hard you've been working than a share of the profits. While most income earned may be funneled directly into a joint account used for bills, set aside a small sum each month to use as "play" money.

Go on a special date, buy something special, or save up your money and take a small vacation.

When a spouse is finally able to recognize what is accomplished throughout the day, and see the rewards that are associated with that, they are more likely to be open to a redistribution of the family's responsibilities.

Not only will this make day-to-day life easier for the person working at home, but also it will bring a new appreciation from family members for the work that is done in support of the family.